On the eve of when my brother Justin passed away I sit here trying to think of something to write. I always write at night and schedule for the morning. And tomorrow will be the 15 year anniversary.
It’s been 15 years since I last heard his contagious belly laugh.
It’s been 15 years since I last rubbed his thick, wavy hair .
It’s been 15 years since I held his hands.
It’s been 15 years since I watched TV with him.
It’s been 15 years since I enjoyed a messy spaghetti dinner with him.
It’s been 15 years since I helped him into bed for a nap or good nights sleep.
It’s been 15 years since he watched Brett, Tori or my sporting events.
It’s been 15 years since he tugged on my long hair.
It’s been 15 years since he listened to our end of the day recaps to my mom.
It’s been 15 years.
Standing Tall 
What a way to honor your brother. I love how each line repeated the beginning, hitting home that it’s been a long time. That picture is just so precious! I’m sure you miss him tremendously.
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I’m so sorry you lost your brother, and I’m so glad you chose to write about it here and share a bit of him with us. I would have liked to hear his laugh!
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so sorry for your loss. As I’m sure you know, Jewish people have a saying at a time of loss like this: May his memory be a blessing. This incantatory opening “It’s been 15 years” is so powerful because it’s clear that his memory is a blessing. know that many of us out there feel for / with you
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Oh E! I never knew. It’s no wonder you are the caring, kind wonderful person you are. You have lived amazing love and lived amazing loss.
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Thank you!
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I just finished my post for my mom’s bday tomorrow. It’s sweet how some March slices are now traditions. I love reading about your memories with your brother every year. ❤️
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And I just finished my annual post celebrating my daughter’s cure from cancer date. It’s interesting that our family memories all fall on the same day. Did we realize that in past years? Thinking of you, Elena. 15 years is a long time. Sending love and hugs.
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We just have, no?
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Hugs, hugs, and more hugs. I can just picture you sitting down to write with all
The emotion and memories swirling. You capture love, loss, and mostly family here. One more hug!
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This is the first picture I have seen of your brother. Thinking of you…
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This is beautifully written. It’s like a bell tolling. At our church on November first, the minister reads the names of everyone we’ve lost in the previous year. This year the list was so long that she had to read three names between each toll of the bell. It’s a solemn way of remembering. Your “15 years” refrain felt like that remembering. Wishing you strength and good memories tomorrow.
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Thank you for sharing your brother with us. What a beautiful tribute.
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Such a powerful piece. I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t think it ever gets easier. XO Thinking of you.
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