At TC this past weekend I listened to Jennifer Serravallo talk about reading conferences. One of the conferences she talked about was a compliment conference. Basically when you are not sure what instruction to give a student you give them a compliment of what they are doing well instead. Be sure to be specific in your compliment she cautioned. Then you can research your next move and go back to them the next day.
Too bad these aren’t the types of conferences parents are looking for during parent teacher conferences this week. Yes, parents always want compliments about their child but often they want more. They want to know goals, or how they can advance their child.
As I made my way through parent teacher conferences this week I did think back to Jennifer Serravallo’s message: be specific. I found I received bigger reactions from parents when I was specific.
I also picked up on compliments I received this week, both from parents and colleagues.
Here are some that stuck out:
“This is her best year yet. She is not as anxious anymore.”
“You know your students. Trust yourself more.”
“Thank you for a great year so far. I can tell you really know my son. You know when to challenge him, and how to keep a structured but not rigid classroom and I can see he has grown so much this year.”
“The kids love your energy! You’re so fun.”
“You are so reflective.”
“You are a true leader.”
I’m left wondering, Does every compliment need to be specific? Are too many compliments a bad thing?
Standing Tall 
I love how you took what you heard from JS and tried that out with parents… and I’m sure kids! It’s also neat that this heightened your awareness of compliments given. “Package up the strengths and hand them back… we don’t get enough of that.”
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Love the compliment conference! And your interactions with parents show you are doing exceptional work with kids. Bravo!
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It’s obvious from the compliments that the kids in your class feel seen! THAT is of the utmost importance! Like Jess, I the way you wove Serravallo work into parent teacher conferences is big. So often our take aways from professional reading can be bigger than just our work with kids! You have done that here! Thanks for sharing!
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I LOVE HER! I have tried compliment conferences and the look on some of these kid’s faces is heartwarming.
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I cannot agree more with the idea of specificity in feedback (whether complimentary or not). And yes, I do believe there can be too many compliments. Sometimes we get used to being positive and forget that constructive criticism is more important (especially when the recipient of the feedback is reflective).
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Specific compliments are more authentic, in my opinion. Things like “Good job!” “Way to go!” or “You’re awesome!” lose their meaning because they are tossed around too easily. You seem like a great teacher…so glad you got to hear positive words of affirmation. Too often we only hear the negative stuff.
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