For this one I challenged myself the most. I decided to write my swimming poem using a song. Here goes nothing!
Draft #4
(To the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb)
Elena was a swimmer star
swimmer star
swimmer star
Elena was a swimmer star
whose stroke were fast and smooth.
Anytime that she swam
she swam
she swam
anytime that she swam
she swam past everyone.
When she went to the pool one day
pool one day
pool one day
When she went to the pool one day
She decided she was done.
This was the hardest one to do by far, but also fun! It think it’ll get the biggest reaction from my class too!
Standing Tall 
Sweet poem, I really like it! But I do want to ask, why was she ‘done’?!
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Retired after finishing college.
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What gave you the idea for this one? I like it!
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Our TC staff developer suggested it. I added it to my revision list for students and figured I should try it myself. It’s hard!
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I think is playful, fun, and BRAVE which is exactly what revision is all about – revision of all writing! I think poems lend themselves to developing the habits of revision because they are shorter than narratives and kids, people, are willing to see what happens! Thanks for sharing and making me sing!
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This is so fun! Did you use different colored paper. The last line made me laugh out loud. What a great model you are for your students.
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No colored paper for me…couldn’t get my act together. But the stapled packets definitely helped.
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You are brave, and it is such a fun poem, but serious too (when you say you are done so suddenly after such a happy sounding first few stanzas). It caught me off guard, which I think is interesting!
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I was in two different k classes last week who were learning to write copy cat poems (same tune/ different words). They were so clever. How did your kids do?
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A handful tried and were successful. They had fun.
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