Standing Tall

My Guardian Bird

Right around Thanksgiving, I was walking out my front door and got so scared by something on my porch. It was small. It was dark. It was still. It had eyes. It was up near the roof. I decided to dart to my car and head to work.

When I returned home that night, I stole a glance toward the same corner part of the ceiling of my porch. That same scary thing was there. I decided I had to be brave and find out what it was. I turned the porch light on and edged closer and closer very slow. What did I find? A bird! A bird was there. No nest, just a bird. How long had it been there? Did it really stay there all day?

Several weeks later, when my mom was leaving my house she had a similar reaction to me. “Uh, Elena. Don’t freak out but something is over there on your porch” she stuttered.

“Oh no worries, mom!” I replied. “That’s my guardian bird.”

“Your what?” she asked.

“My guardian bird. It’s been there every day for the past month. It hasn’t bothered me once so I haven’t bothered it. In fact I decided to be nice to it and give it that name” I chuckled. “It’s there watching over my house and me I guess.”

Fast forward to now, March, and this bird has been on my porch almost every morning and every night. On the weekends, when I’m popping in and out of my house more it’s not always there during the day. But each morning I say “bye bird” as I head off to work and each night I saw “Hi bird! Miss me?” when I get home. My neighbors must think I’m crazy! (Good thing they haven’t been outside when I’m leaving or coming home).

But it’s strange. Of all porches, why did this bird choose my porch to be on each day? It got me thinking, what does a bird symbolize? I decided to google and found out that birds symbolize freedom and perspective. They can also be seen as a link with the spiritual world. Hmmm….what does my bird, my guardian bird, mean? What is this bird on my porch trying to tell me? Or is it all just a coincidence?

And so it begins…

“You should come to Saugatuck’s book book club about Joy Write with me next week” my friend Jess said to me last summer.

There were 2 problems with this idea… 1) I have never heard of the book let alone read it and 2) I don’t teach at Saugatuck. But I found myself saying “sure” anyways.

I drove with Jess and her baby Rose to Dawn’s house for the meeting with a journal in hand. Jess had brought her copy of Joy Write with her so I skimmed it while on the short drive. Little did I know my journey as an adult writer was about to begin.

Since that summer day I’ve read the book (of course) and gone to many meetings of this Joy Write club. One of the biggest take aways for me was that in order to teach writing, I need to be a writer myself…something I’ve never done or felt. In my classroom this year, I’ve tried to write with my students at least once a week. It’s really hard to step back and not watch every second of what they are doing and just write myself but I’ve found it to be a good teaching tool. My students are starting to see me as a writer. Someone who struggles but knows it’ll work itself out.

Dawn and Jess have encouraged me to do this SOL challenge to push myself. To see the world with the eyes of a writer. If I’m honest, 31 days of writing is extremely daunting. I’ve journaled now for over a year but blogging for others to see, that’s a whole new ball game. But I’m excited (and nervous) to see where this all takes me. I’ll let you know how I’m feeling 31 days from now.