During this revision I decided to concentrate on line breaks and added some rhyming.
Draft #2
Butter
Back
Breast
Free
Are the motions
that mean so much to me!
Just…
follow the black line,
then flip!
And you’ll be fine!
Swim fast!
You’ll have a blast!
Not sure I’m the rhyming type of poet. It’s hard! To be honest, I’m not a fan of this try.
I like it. So playful. It reminds me of the riddle poems where you are trying to guess what it’s about.
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I bet your kids will love this try. A big leap from the acrostic.
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It sounds like strokes. 💕
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You remind us to revise! Even if you don’t care for this version, it taught you something.
(And your readers do quite like it .)
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I struggle with rhyming, too. I actually hated writing poetry when I thought it had to rhyme. Now I feel much more free when trying my hand at poetry. That said, not a bad attempt! 🙂
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I tried a rhyming poem today, too! Love the encouragement (to self?) “…you’ll be fine!”
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I can’t rhyme for the life of me – well, I can rhyme, I have a hard time writing a rhyming poem! I much prefer the free verse – BUT, as you remind me, we owe to kids to step out of our comfort zones and try! Thanks for sharing!
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