“Something, something, something didn’t call me back today” I hear my dad say as my mom and I give each other confused looks over the dinner table.  My dad is at the stove getting some more food for us.

“What?” I ask immediately.

“Lynn, tell her what I said” my dad answers.

My mom crosses her fingers and timidly says “Rooms to Go didn’t call you back today?!”

“Elena…how did your mother hear correctly with the back of her ears to me and you didn’t when your ears are facing me.  I think you just like saying ‘what!”

This has been the story of my life.  It’s not that I have bad hears.  I think it’s just that I like to be certain I heard correctly before commenting on things.  I am a listener.

It’s almost a joke going on between my dad and I.  Here are some real jokes though that I will definitely pass on to my kids/nieces/nephews some day:

  • “Horn works”:  Driving down an empty street, hit the horn to try it out.  You never know when you are going to actually need it and if it works until you practice.
  • “Bump Ahead”:  These signs are often in construction zones.  Make sure when you see one to reach over and smack (aka gently tap) another passenger on the head.  After all, that’s what the sign told you to do.
  • “Shoe’s untied”:  It’s as simple as that.  Tell someone their shoe is untied and they will immediately look down.  9 times out of 10 they’ll look down even if they are barefoot or have shoes with no laces.
  • “Spell Mississippi backwards”:  The correct answer is to turn around and face the other way and spell Mississippi the correct way.  (other variations of this can be done too).

The list of my dad’s jokes can go on.  But I need to keep some of them a secret.  After all, I don’t know when I’ll need them to entertain a crowd/class.


8 thoughts on “What?!

  1. Love this. My father is a fan of these as well. “Know how many people are dead in that cemetery?” Wait for it…”All of them.” The road sign seems to be a theme for me as well. Although, instead of ‘Bump Ahead’ it was often, ‘Stop Ahead,’ at which point he would scream about a head rolling in the street. As a father of young ones, I’m totally stealing your one-liners for my bag of awful jokes.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think your dad and my dad would get along well. My dad (who is an artist) always comments at the signs that say, “Draw Bridge Ahead.” He will pull over, pull out his sketch pad and start drawing a bridge. Seriously!

    Liked by 1 person

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